soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
