My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
