Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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