I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
