I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
