you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
