just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
