there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
