morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
