so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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