ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
