Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
