I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
