I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize