you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
