I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
