The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
