Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
