What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
