I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
