Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
