sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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