why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
