When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
