you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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