Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
where are my eyebrows?
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