So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
