i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
