i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
