Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
