He kissed a someone with a penis
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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