i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
