Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
