There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
