Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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