I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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