Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
