Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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