And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
