i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
bring money and cleavage
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
