they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
