I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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