my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
