I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
