No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
