if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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