I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
