I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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