I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
