u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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