Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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