I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
