Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Please, let me fuck your mom
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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