Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
