MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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